Right now my heart is racing, my legs are cramping and my head is pounding. When I drink water I get sick...even though they are only sips. The irony is that right now all of this is medical illness that I am dealing with yet 10 years ago I had such bad anorexia it led to me nearly losing my life (psychical, spiritual and emotional). After 20 years of anorexia I entered into recovery. I fought so hard to stay alive despite obvious roadblocks (doctors slandering me, doctors and nurses turning that slander into lible and finally defamation of character). I have a friend and a fiancee. This is more than I have ever had and I am in such of of their love. These two are my saving graces. I could not be who I am without them. I could not withstand the painful partial bowel obstructions and lack of a supportive family. I was tortured by my mother, daily,until the age of 23. This is why I have anorexia. This Thanksgiving I am grateful for my fiancee and friend who is my sister and to be alive. I am grateful to my friend/sister's mother for "adopting" me into the family. I swear if I weren't in my late twenties she'd sign the papers and make it legal. May all Thanksgiving wishes come true to all. I will be inpatient for this year sadly. I pray I do not need another surgery. Although no doctor wants to believe that a 26 year old could be so sick, so weak and so fragile pysically. It's easier for them to blame emotional instability. The facts are that nurses, doctors scare me now. I once wanted to be a part of their team and be a doctor...CT surgeon actually. Now I am a patient. I am not taken seriously at this hospital in my network. What's worse is their ER MD actually told me to leave when brought in my ambulance after fainting on the street. He thought I "faked it". I will continue to share antidotes that I have experienced and hope that you will be able to relate. For now, enjoy your Thanksgiving. Enjoy the small things in life even when the big get in the way.
Love, light, gratitude and health to all.
Alley
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